I was at mamak~

I’m tired. I’m sleepy. Yet, I couldn’t sleep. Gosh… must be the effect of the glasses of teh ais and teh tarik and the very oily roti pisang!

My boss called to ask to work extra and I said no, giving the excuse that I got something to do. Guessed he could hear from my sound that I was actually sleeping and asked, ‘what are you doing now?’ ‘I’m sleeping… only for a while, will be out very soon.’

And I’m supposed to go working tomorrow. Feeling very tired these days, I ask my friend to replace me. Well, I know she likes it. She wants to earn more bucks. keke…

And I told myself, I need to finish my lab report, my math assignment and study for my religion test. Ended up, I was at the mamak together with my friends!

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U now ok ma? Got rest ma? When u reach miri o? kuai dian hao
qi lai, Chinese new year come liao lor. U got go college ma? Fast fast come back n we go bai nian 2gether.

Sometimes, when I feel so stressed, when I’m piled with lots of work, when I feel like throwing myself back into the bed to sleep … forever, and I receive this kind of message. I thank god. I thank god for putting some loved ones around me. Not physically maybe, but definitely mentally.

Thanks, my dear sit min!

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先是额头发烫，然后。。。。。。

感觉整身发热了。

吃了曾经非常抗拒的panadol。

晚安了，残酷的世界！

晚安了，残酷的人类！

流血了。。。。。。

才刚进入状况，就遇到了问题。

才刚有了争斗力，就被深深的打击。

噢，有时真的很怀疑。

是自己弱不禁风？

还是生活真的太残酷，人类太可怕？

我的心狠狠的被捅了几刀。

一刀又一刀的，连续着，我看到了他的奸笑。

天啊！我到底在个什么样的地方啊？

为何我会在这啊？

因为他，我心情低落。

因为他，我很难受。

因为他，我企图逃避现实。

不，等等！

醒来，醒来！

这根本不值得！

他成功伤害了我的心，

我不能，我不能让他再有机会破坏我的生活！

我告诉过自己，我得努力，我会成功！

当我成功站在顶处时，

他，会很渺小，

渺小得我很本看不到，也感觉不到！

Another weekend

Another weekend has just gone like that. I’m very sure, I’m very clear that I don’t use the time wisely these days but…… I just couldn’t control myself. I just couldn’t concentrate when I’m supposed to be. I know… I know I’m being too emotional again.

Not that I don’t want to finish my work. I did touch my books. I did try to start on my mathematics assignment. I did try to finish my lab report. But but but… I just gave up halfway. I’m still not into the situation. Duh!~

Math math math!! I couldn’t imagine that I being the last semester student still need to attend the sooo basic mathematics subject. And what’s worse is that my mind is blank whenever I’m left with some mathematics questions. I don’t know where the enthusiastic once I got for math has gone. I seriously don’t know. I have forgotten so much of the mathematics rules. Bla bla bla…

Ok… enough… I was just ranting… bla bla bla…

I just got a part time job. It was stated that they have vacancies for ‘photocopy department’ and the interviewer (one of the bosses) kept stressing that my job was to photocopy the materials, and only when I’m free that I need to do the cleaning, arranging, bla bla bla…

Oh god, when he was trying very hard to persuade me that I just needed to do the photocopy job, I know that I would need to spare quite some time for other ojibala work. Sigh sigh… boh-bian la… I’m still a student without any degree or diploma.

Good to say, I haven’t met any major problem in that working place so far. And of course, I hope that it would be a wonderful one. God bless~

Before going for the part time job, Christina, phooi mun, and I went for our dinner. So nice hoh our dinner? Besides the nasi goreng daging merah, nasi goreng belacan and nasi pataya, we still ordered extra dishes neh!~ I ordered sotong masam manis, Chris ordered udang-donno-wat flavor, and pm ordered petai goreng. In case you don’t know, that was the only meal I got for the whole day.

College hostel area at 12am something. Before the nearby new apartments were started to be used, my college was not so quiet at night one. It used to be so happening, too happening that I was glad that I didn’t stay in the first few blocks. Too noisy bah!~

These 2 guys were blocking my way and they walked sooooo slowly!

Oh well, people always say that you can learn paktology in college.

Not yet reached the block I’m staying…

More…

Ok, I have reached my block. As usual, the guards were busy sembang-ing.

First time being tagged

Hmm… I wonder… I wonder why am I being tagged? I don’t know whether this subkiller is being thankful for me being the frequent visitor in his blog or because ngam ngam at the time when he answered the meme, I was chatting with him and gepo gepo asked him the question ‘whatcha doing there?’

So, here I am, answering the meme. I like answering this kind of thing sometimes because it helps you and your friends to understand you more. It’s true. Sometimes, people do not understand themelves as much as they though. Besides, the questions could offer some challenges. There might be some private questions which are the things I don’t usually reveal in daily life. So so… anway, the meme thing this time… contains boring questions! =P

First of all, remove the blog in the no.1 spot from the following list and push everyone up one place. Then add your own blog to the bottom spot.

1. Che-Cheh

2. Alex Allied

3. Clueless Dream

4. Planet Subkiller

5. ycfoo’s life

Then, answer the following questions :

What were I doing 10 years back :

year 1996, I was in primary 5. The year my academic performance started to drop very very seriously. Got to know a new guy transfered from other state.(from Sabah if I wasn’t wrong.) He sat beside me and we mixed together very well. I still remember him being the one who introduced 谍仙 (I don’t know how to call it in English. Anyone helps?) to me and I was so addicted to it. I didn’t go back home after school. I played with the bunch of friends until their parents come and pick them one by one. When everyone had gone, only then I walked back home. Only after a long time, one of my respected teacher said to me, ‘You have changed so much since you are put to sit together with him.’ Only then, I woke up.

What were I doing 1 year back :

Stucked in the jungle! =P

5 snacks I enjoy :

* chips

* french fries

* special

* chewing gums

* rojak

5 songs I know all the lyrics off my head right now :

* ABC

* 我的朋友在哪里？

* 三只老虎

* aiya… all kids’ songs la! Don’t you ever ask me this kind of question AGAIn!

5 things I would do if I am a millionaire :

* Do some investment to keep the money coming.

* Buy some very nice designed and comfortable houses together with my family.

* Go travelling together with my family

* Buy everything me and my family members need.

* and yeah, some donations.

5 bad habits :

* lazy lazy

* too emotional sometimes

* depend too much on family. (oh well, sing fang just reminded me about this during last semester break.)

* don’t like to socialize sometimes.

* always don’t want to get out from bed even if I have got enough sleep. so the next thing to happen would be… too much of sleep during day time and couldn’t sleep on time at night.

5 things I love to do :

* go shopping together with sisters.

* watching drama and movies together with family.

* go travelling.

* going online

* sleep sleep sleep…

5 things you would never wear, buy or get new again :

* so boring neh this one… lazy to answer. =P

5 favourite “toys” :

* my laptop

* my hp

* water color

* some toys I bought for my nephews… play together with them la…hehe…

* can’t think of any liaw…

Then you select five people to pass it on :

* Jiaren (muahaha… I know subkiller has tagged you and I know what happend when you tried to follow. But, that’s for his tag. Now, you got another one. You have to do it. No excuse! =P)

* Tina Ngu (Wow… just found out that you got a blog too. As a welcome, you are tagged! hehe...)

* Heng Wei (I know you feel so boring at home. Don’t worry. I’m helping. keke...)

* Suen (As a punishment for not going online for sooooooooooo long!)

* cute Shirely Goh (only if she read this… hehe...)

家人第一!

晚餐吃了煎饺。说真的，还蛮好吃的！下次大姐来时要让她试试。

吃完了晚餐，和朋友网聊了一阵，读了些网上新闻，本想说睡个小觉的。结果姐姐在这时候上网，一聊就聊了整个晚上！

可怜的姐姐，受了不少苦。心痛。为何要让我姐姐受苦喔？唔。。。。。。祷告，祷告。。。。。。希望姐姐脱离困境！能的，能的，我知道姐姐一定能屈服困难的！Yeah!

结果，就没睡到觉了。没什么大不了的。

我爱死睡眠，但。。。家人第一！

我爱我家人，我爱我家人。

平安快乐，他们一定要平安快乐！

一棒文章

给妈咪的信~~

07-09-04

妈咪：
刚刚重阅数月前英国几所大学寄来的email。内容无外是探问我是否已经病愈，做好准备加入今年九月的intake。虽然向来跟你无所不谈，但是有个问题是我从来没有问过你的。记得你说过比较放心让我过来澳洲。英国，太远了。然而另一方面，我很想知道实际上你跟老爸有没有因为这个女儿错失了一圆她从小就酝酿的梦想的机会而耿耿于怀呢？过来澳洲，是我自己选择的第二条路。在种种因缘和合下，我错过了去年九月出国深造的机会。由于不想再多等一年，我亲手放弃了我的梦想国度。其实，那时候我的内心也挣扎了无数遍。人生并不是事事尽人所愿。鱼与熊掌，不能兼得。计划好了的事情，也可能会临时出状况。于是，我载着大家满满的祝福与期望启程，也尝试把自己的梦想与理想一并带过来。然后告诉自己我很快乐。或许，这七个月以来我是快乐的，只是我没有真正去体验体悟它。因为在心底最深处，有个声音一直在抗议。它说它本来是不应该踏上这片土地的。妈咪，你看到我上个星期参加day
trip拍的照片了吗？有没有看到我灿烂的笑容？朋友说当天我特别开心特别high，因为她觉得近几个月来我少了平日的活泼，人也比较安静。九月春天里，我遇上久违的太阳。心情也开朗了很多。最近有位朋友说我给他的感觉很阳光。原来我是不属于冬天的。如今，我打从心底真正地享受留澳的学生生涯。我发现自己真真确确地专注投入在书堆中。我一边背科学名词，一边对着课本傻笑。我看到自己很积极地一步步去实践自己的理想。上网缆阅报纸，看见世界每个角落都有悲剧发生。原来我是幸福的。虽然心脏偶尔比较顽皮，但是感谢佛菩萨的加被，目前我还是平安的度过每一天。妈咪，很感激你和老爸提供我出国深造的机会。我爱你们，还有弟弟。你们是最好的。我一定会实现我的理想以报佛恩及父母恩。最后，想说，我已经把那些email删除了。英国，依旧是我向往的国度（硕士吗？呵呵！）。不过我更加学会惜福，把握当下，珍惜一切我已拥有的。=)

女儿甜心

最近的生活过的蛮悠哉的。目前忙着弄申请大学的东西。超麻烦的！麻烦自己没关系，不喜欢为家人添麻烦。我爱我家人，我爱我家人，我不要麻烦他们。自己的生活已够忙了，我这米虫还在旁添加麻烦。

已是新学期（也是我的最后一个学期！哈！）的第二个星期了，功课陆续而来。但我还是懒洋洋的，今天从学院回房后都呆在电脑前。睡了个近三个钟的觉，又继续呆在电脑前。都没碰我的功课！下午从图书馆搬回来的两本超厚的书也被我丢弃一旁。嘻！根本还没进入状况！

没关系。多疼自己，让自己好好享受。（近三个月的假期享受还不够？的确！嘻！）今天除了在学院的时间，我一直都独自待在自己的房间里。很享受。在网上看文章，播放着一首首不同类型的歌，不停的思考，完全沉淀在自己的世界里。我喜欢这样，静静的，一个人，做着自己想做的事情，不受任何干扰。噢，别误会！msn聊天不算干扰。那反而是必要的。可惜，以前常在网上聊天的朋友好像都很忙，好久都没尽情的网上聊天了！

哈！一定又会有人说我搞自闭了吧？朋友，适时的短暂自闭，是需要的，是健康的。相信我，那是一个未来心理学家说的！哈哈。。。。。。

以上的文章是在网上找到的。你也觉得作者写得很棒，对吧？这作者更提醒了我。。。。。。我的华文水准真的退步了一大半！天啊！这作者写了蛮多的心情故事，都是些有意义的真实经验。不知作者会否介意，所以不太敢把link放上来。

我还在那看到了这！超准的！

Shopping in MidValley

I am tired because of the shopping during day time in MidValley. Light switched off. Laptop turned off. On the bed I became more and more awake. Was thinking to blog next time but since I couldn’t sleep, I might just blog now.

I went shopping together with Chris, because I need to buy something and because I know that I shouldn’t just stay in the room. I would sure become more depressed if I were to stay in the room for another day.

Ha! Not too bad! I do understand myself! I know what I can do to make myself happy! The shopping does help! I feel much better now. Hehe… a bit guilty though, because my wallet becomes so so so thin already. I bought a pair of long pants (This is what I wanted to buy), 2 clothes (This is not in the list because I bought lots of clothes in hometown already! Well, I still bought them in the end.*grin*), 3 feng shui (风水) key chains for my sisters, and some other stuffs.

I need a part time job, I need a part time job… so that I won’t feel so guilty when I spend every single cents. And I need a part time job to fill my time. 3 subjects in a semester. Duh!~

Something really funny happened when we were in MidValley. Hahaha… but I’m too lazy to type now.

MidValley on the left and donno-what-building on the right.

The one on the right is mine. It costed me RM10 with 5% of government tax and 5% of service tax yet to be added!

麻辣牛肉拉面.

Christina’s food. I don’t know the name.

Taken without me knowing.

Robe fish.

Very de nice le…

Neh neh… Christina is there… the one with red shirt.

Saw a pair of long pants there, cheaper compared with the one I bought. But ho… see see… I immediately put the pants back when I saw the long queu outside the fitting rooms.

Now, Christina is lost! So so so many people but I couldn’t find Chris. Chris, Chris, where are you? Do you know that I’m waiting for you here?

Back alone…

Homesick~

So, I’m currently in the jungle. I miss home so much! Anyone? Could anyone understand how much I miss home? I have never missed home as much as this, so much that I’m thinking of home every single second, either I’m in the class, in my dorm, in the office, in the bathroom or in my dream.

Ok, I’m a normal human. So, it’s not abnormal for me to be homesick. It has been times before this but there were always a reason. I got homesick when I felt soooo stressed in studies, I got homesick when I fell sick, I got homesick when I was facing big challenges, I got homesick when… yeah, with a reason or reasons.

Only then, I understand why I miss home so so so seriously this time. I have had 2 months plus holiday in hometown, a long long time without any stress at home. So relax I was, so enjoy I was. I do realize that whenever I have finished my holiday in my hometown and it is the time for me to go back to the jungle, my heart feels pain. But it was only for a short period of time. Maybe, after 2 or 3 days of classes and mixings with friends, I successfully adapted myself to the jungle for another time. However, this time is not so easy. I have never been back for such a long time since I started my tertiary education here. The last time of year-end long holiday was spent in Setapak together with my cousin and in Singapore together with my sister and another cousin.

Nearly 3 months of holidays at home together with my dear family. How wonderful it was! I have used to the happy environment and happy days at home. Now, I need a longer time for me to adapt myself back to the jungle environment.

People always say, ‘you gonna back to hometown after few weeks’ whenever I complain that I miss home. Oh well, its true that I’m going back home very soon for cny celebration, but it’s not true that I would feel more released by knowing this. In fact, this makes me feel sadder because I understand that I will only be back for one week plus. This certainly is not enough to satisfy my need. And I know that I would fall into the world of home home home home…sick again when I got back here after the short holiday. Waaaa… !!!

Plus, it’s hard for me to persuade myself that it’s important for me to stay here for another semester. 3 subjects, I have only enrolled for 3 subjects which I don’t know whether they are actually needed. No psychology subject. Stupid UPO closed the psy subject I have advanced enrolled. So, in the end, advanced enrollment doesn’t seem to help. So, why? Why would there be advance enrollment? Stupid!

What I can do now is to tell myself that time flies. Very soon, very soon that the semester will end and I can go back home.